Why Send Funeral Flowers

Funeral Flowers soften the sorrow and comfort the living.

“Families deserve the right of complete freedom of expression at time of death. People are not cut from the same spiritual or emotional mold. Therefore, they should be free to express themselves in the manner which best conveys their emotions. Any expression which is the result of dictate, ceases to be an act of the heart”. Todd Van Beck,
Funeral Director

Tina and funeral for lady

The death of a family member or close friend is one of life’s most painful episodes. Those in mourning need support and most of us are anxious to find some way to comfort them. One of the most appropriate and appreciated ways to express sympathy and compassion, as well as respect for the deceased, is by sending flowers.
Occasionally, the obituary announcement includes the phrase “In lieu of flowers, contributions may be made to…”. Often times, this terminology is used to encourage charitable gifts but not necessarily to discourage other expressions. Most families sincerely appreciate all personal expressions and may later regret having too few flowers at the funeral. It is important that each giver make their own choice and many people are choosing to send a floral remembrance to the service or family home as well as a donation to the charity indicated. While a monetary donation is a worthy tribute, there is really no substitute for beautiful flowers at a sympathy service. They comfort the living as they commemorate the lives of the deceased.

garden funeral garden for gerta

When planning a funeral, alternative sayings are suggested instead of “In Lieu of Flowers”.  As part of making funeral arrangements, family members sometimes select a charity or other organization to receive financial contributions given in memory of the deceased. Occasionally this request is made “in lieu of flowers.”

Funeral directors who recognize the important contribution flowers can make to the traditional service are concerned that the solicitation is worded tactfully.

They realize that florists hope the charity can be identified in a phrase that does not single out the floral industry in a negative manner.

Funeral directors may also be asked to comply with newspaper obituary guidelines which prohibit discriminatory phrases.

Choosing one of the suggested alternative phrases which simply eliminates the expression “in lieu of flowers”, achieves three important goals. It honors the family request for a charity, meets the high standards for a charity, meets the high standards of good taste and decorum insisted upon by most funeral directors and does not dictate to friends the manner in which they express their sympathy.

“When Memorial Contributions Are Requested…These Phrases are Suggested:

  • The family suggests memorial contributions be sent to….
  • Should friends desire, contributions may be sent to….
  • Memorials may be made to the charity of your choice
  • The …. Memorial has been established for those wishing to contribute.
  • As an expression of sympathy, memorial contributions may be sent to….
  • The family has designated the …. for memorial contributions.
  • Remembrances may be made in the form desired by friends.
  • Memorial contributions may be made to….
  • Flowers are welcome. Contributions may be sent to…

funeral white with purple gladsFuneral for BillFuneral for Mary Kayfuneral for anthony from droid mediumfuneral for bob waits128funeral moorebaby boy funeralFuneral for Deanna mediumFuneral  Ursulafuneral with sunflowers mediumpalm and pothospink lavender funeralVday tropicalspink and white for rebecca

May the passing of a loved one be softened by beautiful flowers.

Roadrunner Florist & Basket Express  Phoenix, AZ


42 thoughts on “Why Send Funeral Flowers

  1. This is very interesting, not really something someone would think about unless they have dealt with a death.Thank you for the insight.

  2. Great post Tina. Although at my husband’s funeral 9 years ago, I asked for donations to the church instead of flowers, but people still sent us beautiful flowers. I can still remember the fresh aroma and the cheerfulness they brought…and the cards with kind words were definitely needed.

    • I understand the suggestion that contributions be made to a church or charity. But I think it should be a “suggestion” not a “mandate”. People still like to send flowers, and the family still likes to receive them. You are a perfect example of understanding how important living flowers are at a funeral. May your husband rest in peace and may his memory be a blessing.

    • I think the most interesting (and emotionally difficult) arrangement I ever designed was a horse’s head for one of my deaest friends. He passed away 2 years ago and the service was at a small church where all of us gatherered to say good-bye. We do the masonic emblem, and we do the word “Mom” (turned upside down it’s wow).

  3. Those are beautiful arrangements. On such a tough day its always beautiful to see somebody to put the extra compassion into the event, such as your beautiful arrangements.

    • Jim, I agree with you. The sentiment people express is part of the healing process. When I take an order for flowers for a funeral, I always listen to the person. Sometimes I hear about a relationship (personal or business) or how great the deceased was. Sometimes they tell me what they did togethr or how long they have known each other. I take shorthand, and I write it all down. Then I can go back and read it and it is the exact thoughts that person wants to express at the difficult time.

  4. I love seeing the flowers at a funeral and I think something is missing if there isn’t at least a few flowers. After all, we are there to celebrate the life of the deceased but it is very comforting when someone sends flowers. I remember an outpouring of love and support when my mom passed away a few years ago. My dad wanted people to donate money but at the same time he was surprised to see the generous donation of flowers.

  5. You’re so right that we each respond to death differently, and it’s nice to offer people alternative ways to show their condolences. My dad died when I was about 21 and the flowers are still part of my memory of the occasion. We were in tropical Rio, with no air conditioning anywhere. I was in my young hippie days — totally irreverent — and had a carpet of daisies and red roses made to cover the coffin. It was still bright and cheery as they lowered the casket, flowers and all. Not very traditional, but meaningful to me!

    • Unfortunately funerals are the most difficult and emotional time, and people make decisions based on simplicity not on value. I hope you can understand the value of using a real flower shop, not a package deal with the funeral home and not one that is found somewhere on the Internet.

    • You ask a wonderful question. Many time the senders will tell us what the deceased’s favorite flowers were, or favorite colors. if they don’t know, we will often guide them toward pastels for a lady or darker colors for a man. People will choose an arrangement from our website, and we will sometimes discuss with them changing the colors to fit the gender. White is always appropriate. Then, of course, we discuss budget. Sometimes a person says they don’t like a particular flower, so we don’t use it. The reason to call a flower shop is to discuss likes and dislikes, prices and availability, so the exact sentiment is sent to the funeral. Does that answer your question?

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